It’s taken me over a week to even let the idea of this task even enter my heart. When I reflect on what the resistance is, all I could feel was a hardness, a wall around myself, I noticed that this wall prevents me from really feeling myself……Then today it hit’s me!
A while ago God showed me that I am with my Soulmate. And I felt so blessed and so much gratitude in my heart that I cried for nearly 3 hours on that day. And the biggest part of my gratitude, had this feeling of this relief! Relief that there is someone for me & they are perfect & beautiful, and together, we can be whole……and that this really is a beautiful gift from God so we can know a very powerful love, so that we can fully see ourselves, recognise from our heart…..ourselves…..as a child of God & recognise the Soul connection we have to our true parent.
So…..what would I say to my soulmate….knowing in my mind that it may be some time before I can touch him again, or before we could have even the tiniest conversation…….
I would say…..from the depth of my Soul…..
God I am going to miss you……so much……
Thankyou for being in my life, for accepting me completely as I am, for the privilege of allowing me to know you, for the beautiful child we made together. For your tender kisses, your warm loving touch, your patience with me in my journey of unravelling my painful stuff.
i want you to know that I am sorry……I’m sorry that I gave up believing you were real, that you were out there. I’m sorry for all the other men I have sexually engaged trying to fill the whole in my soul, that was meant to show me, there was only you. I wish so much that I could go back to that belief from when I was little…that feeling that told me there is only ‘1 true love’, and have held steadfast to it, for if I had, we may have found each other sooner & then I’d have had more time with you.
I know in my head that we will see each other again & that we cannot ever be seperated, but the sadness of loss overwhelmes me and causes me to be afraid.
And I promise you that I will do everything I can to learn about God & the laws of love, so that I can help us grow, I will visit you often & I will always be there when you need me. I will wait with breathless anticipation until I see you again….no matter how long it takes, and we will spend time together in your dreams…..my heart is starting to open now & I promise to hold it open as often as I can so that you can feel me, & so I can feel God….so that we might continue our life together in the different dimensions of this seamless existence. I love you babe, and even though it might feel like we have lost each other for a while, we cannot lose our Love.
So after writing all this, I mentoned to my guide that this was one of the hardest things I have had to try and connect to yet. She explained that to recognise myself, I needed to be open to all of myself, for it is both halves that make the one soul. She then suggested that this next activity should be allowing myself to feel about what I had written, as if all the words said were me talking to myself…and then sharing those feelings with God.
So that is the task for this week, to give you an example of what she meant…..my first comment to my soulmate was the realisation of how much I would miss him….if I bring that back to myself…..I would really miss my life here on earth, and all the feelings of how I have not been overly grateful for the life I have had until the moment of this reflection. She suggested I go thru all the statements I made to my other half and apply the feelings of those statement to me, and then share that with God.
I hope that makes sense to you and feel free to ask questions if it doesn’t and I will try to elaborate further.
By for now with much love Nat.