3 Days ago I began my experiment. I woke up laid in bed and prayed for the courage to let myself be guided by the guide that God has afforded me in my journey. My guides name is Celeste.
Celeste appeared and I asked her, “what would you like me to do, I mean how is this gonna work….where do I start?” Her response startled me a little as I was expecting something complex and hard, and maybe even something I would be a little apprehensive about…Celeste replied with ” Today I want you to try to not speak….not unless you have to….reply to conversation only if you are asked a question…..try also to maintain an awareness of my presence with you all day…and be aware of your thoughts during the course of the day.”
“That’s it?” I asked.
“Yep that’s all” she said.
Well I thought to myself that seems easy enough…and so my day began, I needed to go to town that day and I live 70kms from town so the drive was a good chance for me to put to practice the suggestion that had been given to me.
With myself and my 6 month old son in the car off we went, I could feel Celeste sitting next me in the passenger seat and she gently said to me “don’t forget to breath…breath deep breaths.”
I took a couple of deep breaths, diaphragmatic type…you know all the way into my belly and started driving. I live 2kms away from the main bitumen road and by the time I had driven that distance ready to turn onto the main road, I was aware that my mind was already on some tangent thinking about a range of diverse things…I couldn’t feel Celeste…so I paused for a moment and then heard her say…”keep breathing”.
I took some more deep breaths and continued driving. For the next 70kms I noticed that every time my mind was babbling at me my breathing became shallow, and I couldn’t feel Celeste….and each time I noticed this Celeste reminded me to keep breathing. What I observed was when I was focused on my breathing, I could feel Celeste…but I could also really feel myself…this heavy something inside of me. I cannot label the emotion as it felt more like a multitude of different feelings bubbling away inside myself, but it definitely felt heavy and not very nice at all.
This mind rabble, pausing to breath and reconnect continued thru my day….by about 1pm I was in Big W and I heard a newborn baby girl crying, I looked over at the interaction between this baby and her mother as I watched her cry this overwhelming grief in me began to surface…I could feel this babies cry for help….help from the attack of her mothers anger….help for just wanting comfort and love. As I tried to maintain my emotional composure, Celeste gently said to me “this feeling is in you too”
I walked away and as my law of attraction would have it I ran into someone I had not seen for some months and allowed me an opportunity to start a conversation and focus my feelings elsewhere…I had safely avoided my grief that was about to come spewing out of me at any moment!!
The next day….day 2 was a mess, my thoughts were all over the place, my mind continually raced with a list of things for me to do that were not necessary but all of a sudden became very important….I did not even allow myself one opportunity to talk with Celeste at all….yet another successful day of avoiding myself!! Upon realising this I prayed again for more courage and apologised to Celeste for ignoring her all day.
Day 3….I went to town again today as I am offering Mediumship to the local community and practised breathing on the way trying to observe myself and how I was feeling. I could not find my diary so was unsure of my first clients appointment time but made sure I was early and took the time to ask Celeste some questions.
I prayed to be open enough to hear her guidance and then when I could see she was there I asked her to show me who else was with me (as I often do) her response was the following-
(Celeste)- Rather than me show you, allow yourself to feel who is there & then be open to seeing them, by truly feeling them you will get a clearer sense of what they look like.
So I sat and allowed myself to feel the spirits around me….. at first it was just a bunch of feelings that I started to jot down in my journal, but as I really allowed myself to be more open to the specifics of these feelings it became very clear how many spirits were with me and how each of them as individuals felt. This is what I learned-
There is a female spirit who feels like she is my age….she is quick to judge me, tells me I am arrogant and should not be doing Mediumship or anything I love…she feels really mean! And thinks she is better than me.
There are 3 male spirits with me one feels older than me, another feels my age and the other feels younger than me (by the way I am 39) these men think I am stupid and want me to feel…. stupid, useless, ugly, and project at me that I have nothing to offer a man as a woman.
Then there are 3 older women….their attire would suggest late 1800’s and like they have lived on the land…they feel I am a bad mother, they want to punish my son Caleb and my daughter Jade, but in particular Caleb (who is only 6 months old) they have no love for children and think they should be used as slaves, and blamed for everything that makes them angry. They feel like children are only good for chores and they have no nurturing desire in them at all.
Then there is a young girl spirit with me…she wants me to be sexual, feeds my insecurity of how I look, wants my man for herself, tells me I don’t deserve my man…that I look old…that I am fat and if I don’t get my body back to pre-pregnancy I wont KEEP my man. She feels tough and rebellious with huge attitude and wants to be desired by a man so she can have control….but even though I could feel this…I could also feel she is really hurt inside. Interesting for me that this spirit is the one I could see most clearly.
Celeste then continued to speak to me –
(Celeste)- Can you see how when you let yourself feel them you could easily get a sense of their appearance & then the more you allowed yourself to discern the different feelings you became aware of the individual people influencing you & then your spirit sight allowed you to see each of them individually. If you spent more time feeling each individual you would see each of them as clearly as you would see someone on earth. It is the same with me and your other guides…you do not allow yourself to fully feel us therefore your sight or seeing us is blurred or hazed, so you sense our presence and then look for us, but because you restrict the feeling of us fully, you are as yet unable to identify our robe colours, our facial features and expressions, and if it weren’t for Divine Love having transformed our soul you would not be able to distinguish us from any other spirit.
Celeste)- When you were a child you were open to feeling everything from your environment. It is why you saw people as all the same….for spirits are people with emotions, just the same as those people who walk the earth. As a child you could not really discern for yourself who was physical and who was spirit as it all felt the same for you. So for you to get back to this place where you can learn to discern spirit influence you will need to feel again, like you did as a little girl – hence the activity I gave to you 2 days ago. To be silent & only speak when necessary, to observe your breathing & the ability to feel when your thoughts were busy.
(Nat speaking to Celeste) I couldn’t feel anything, I couldn’t feel you & my breath was really shallow. And when you told me to concentrate on my breath, I could feel this underlying heavy sadness & stirring of yucky stuff. And when I was silent I became so sensitive to my environment!!! That little baby crying in Big W was the most horrible feeling in me.
(Celeste)- It was horrible because that baby was stirring in you the pain in you of just wanting to be held & loved & nurtured…and you were aware of the mothers un-verbalised rage at that baby, which exposed some helplessness in you.
(Celeste)- This is the perfect example of how in the mind dominate world you live often your law of attraction is skipped over or missed completely. There are so many opportunity’s in one day – every day to release a causal emotion….but it is necessary to be present in your body….to feel yourself, it is why focus on the breath is good – yet so many people…especially you my sister, are operating from your thoughts which are being controlled and influenced by spirits & that prevents you from feeling all the beautiful opportunity’s your soul brings you every minute of every day so that you can heal and grow closer to God.
(Celeste) Let us leave it here for now & again try your day one experiment & we will talk more tomorrow of the emotional hooks with your spirit friends.