a journey in discovering how to live a life lead by love

It’s taken me over a week to even let the idea of this task even enter my heart. When I reflect on what the resistance is, all I could feel was a hardness, a wall around myself, I noticed that this wall prevents me from really feeling myself……Then today it hit’s me!

A while ago God showed me that I am with my Soulmate. And I felt so blessed and so much gratitude in my heart that I cried for nearly 3 hours on that day. And the biggest part of my gratitude, had this feeling of this relief! Relief that there is someone for me & they are perfect & beautiful, and together, we can  be whole……and that this really is a beautiful gift from God so we can know a very powerful love, so that we can fully see ourselves, recognise from our heart…..ourselves…..as a child of God & recognise the Soul connection we have to our true parent.

So…..what would I say to my soulmate….knowing in my mind that it may be some time before I can touch him again, or before we could have even the tiniest conversation…….

I would say…..from the depth of my Soul…..

God I am going to miss you……so much……

Thankyou for being in my life, for accepting me completely as I am, for the privilege of allowing me to know you, for the beautiful child we made together. For your tender kisses, your warm loving touch, your patience with me in my journey of unravelling my painful stuff.

i want you to know that I am sorry……I’m sorry that I gave up believing you were real, that you were out there. I’m sorry for all the other men I have sexually engaged trying to fill the whole in my soul, that was meant to show me, there was only you. I wish so much that I could go back to that belief from when I was little…that feeling that told me there is only ‘1 true love’, and have held steadfast to it, for if I had, we may have found each other sooner & then I’d have had more time with you.

I know in my head that we will see each other again & that we cannot ever be seperated, but the sadness of loss overwhelmes me and causes me to be afraid.

And I promise you that I will do everything I can to learn about God & the laws of love, so that I can help us grow, I will visit you often & I will always be there when you need me. I will wait with breathless anticipation until I see you again….no matter how long it takes, and we will spend time together in your dreams…..my heart is starting to open now & I promise to hold it open as often as I can so that you can feel me, & so I can feel God….so that we might continue our life together in the different dimensions of this seamless existence. I love you babe, and even though it might feel like we have lost each other for a while, we cannot lose our Love.

So after writing all this, I mentoned to my guide that this was one of the hardest things I have had to try and connect to yet. She explained that to recognise myself, I needed to be open to all of myself, for it is both halves that make the one soul. She then suggested that this next activity should be allowing myself to feel about what I had written, as if all the words said were me talking to myself…and then sharing those feelings with God.

So that is the task for this week, to give you an example of what she meant…..my first comment to my soulmate was the realisation of how much I would miss him….if I bring that back to myself…..I would really miss my life here on earth, and all the feelings of how I have not been overly grateful for the life I have had until the moment of this reflection. She suggested I go thru all the statements I made to my other half and apply the feelings of those statement to me, and then share that with God.

I hope that makes sense to you and feel free to ask questions if it doesn’t and I will try to elaborate further.

By for now with much love Nat.


Ok so how did you go with that first activity? It was quite challenging for me, many emotions came up about loss, being unable to be there for my kids, missing out on their life’s adventures, achievements…..but underneath all that when I finally got to what I wanted to say, I realised it came from the reflection of my own lessons in life. It was my experiences that I wanted to share, and this massive sadness in me that I wished someone had told me these things when I was small, as my life would have been soooo different had I known these things.

I felt to share with you these things, for after completing the exercise I asked my guide why she wanted me to do this and she told me it was to help me to learn how to speak from my heart. Speaking from our heart requires our heart to be open, when our heart is open we say what we really feel, what we really believe and there is no investment in how another responds. It is our Soul communicating, for our Soul holds all of our emotions, so speaking from your heart…..that emotional place of the truth inside of ourselves allows the expression of our real self….our Soul.

What I wanted my children to know, was the truth of some of the most beautiful things I have experienced in my life…..the most important things to me that I wanted them to know were…..

Believe in miracles, for they are very real things that show us hope….give us faith that someone bigger than this whole universe is guiding us with Love, allowing us to dream a life without limits.

Trust your heart, for it knows good and it knows bad…it knows joy & it knows sorrow, your Heart can FEEL the difference. Trust your heart and you will find your way home to Love.

Open your heart to love, see the good in the world, honour your word, know that you are loved, seek out the truth, long for your one true love & wait patiently for them….for your bond of love with that person is sacred & cannot be experienced with any other.

During this I remembered how I had experienced a few times in life how God feels about me, I was not quite sure how to express this, so I chose a letter form, to help remind my children that God is their true parent. Here is the letter I wrote-

To my dearest child,

You are so special to me, precious beyond anything you can possibly imagine, I have always loved you and will always love you. There is no mistake that you could ever make that we cannot change together. I am here when you need me & even when you think you don’t, I will never leave you.

You are beautiful & unique and because of this, your passions and desires make a difference in this world every time you act on them. So be bold & courageous, follow your dreams, make your journey an adventure, there is nothing to fear for I am always here.

Love God.

It was a very emotional activity for me but I understand why it is important to speak from our heart. It also made me question myself about how much do I live my life from my heart???

So in continuation of learning how to speak from my heart, the activity for this week is, the same scenario…..your time on earth has run out, and you have only one opportunity left to say something to your one true love….your soulmate……what would you say?

You may feel you are with that person or you may feel you have not yet met that person…or may not know, either way that is ok, the purpose of the exercise is to connect to the feeling in you soul that you know there is only one true love. Because your souls knows this as a truth! The reason I can say this is because many years ago I got married, I did not know anything about soul mates….and yet on my way to my wedding, I was very sad….the feeling in me was…how will I ever be able to stay with my future husband, when I meet the person I am SUPPOSED to be with. I shook off that feeling and got married anyway…..but my point is my SOUL knew…..right in that moment that the person I was about to marry was not ‘The One’….was not my one true love. And like I said I did not have any intellectual understanding of what a soulmate was at the time, but my soul still knew.

So try to connect to that feeling in you….that knowing there is an other half of you that is your mate…you soulmate. What would you say to them?

Love Nat.

Ok so the format for this is a little different, I am going to post the activity for today and then add some more information to it tomorrow. The reason being is, it is a part of the discovery process we are trying to engage. When attempting to do this activity I strongly recommend not just thinking about it but feeling about it. Having said that the activity for today….

Imagine you have been told that you have only 24hours left to live.

That you are the parent of young children or a young child.

There is not much time left, and what words you speak next to your child, they will carry with them and remember for the rest of their lives…..what would you say?

Journey of Self Discovery

Welcome to those of you who are new to this website, it is my personal journey in learning how to lead a life led by Love. The next 12 weeks I will be posting some activities that my guide gives to me for me to work on so that I can share more of her wisdom with those of you who want to join in. It is my hope that you will feel encouraged to ask questions, and share your experiences from the activities on this forum for others to read and learn from as well. Of course you do not have to comment, or share in anyway if you do not wish to.

Why this ‘workshop’…..this ‘Journey’?

when I reflect on why I wanted to run a workshop about self discovery, it is because I personally have a desire to discover more about myself, so that I can heal and grow more in Love…..and I have beautiful Guides who are willing to show me more of about the Laws of Love & assist me in my desire to grow.

But this is not the start of my journey. I have been searching for something all my life, you know what I’m talking about…..deep down in the pit of your stomach, that thing that you cant quite put your finger on but it feels like something’s missing.

Well over the last 10 years I have had enough ‘light bulb’ moments, enough humbling realisations, & enough emotional truth enter my heart….that I know for certain that the something that’s missing is….Love & Truth.

When I experience emotional moments of love & truth that missing feeling is gone….COMPLETELY!!!!!……. It’s like it was never there.

So for me, in my journey I want to learn more about how to have more love and truth…..and my guide is always giving me gentle insights, practical activities & things to question about myself, like my beliefs, my feelings etc.

She is always trying to help me discover more of my real self…..my Soul.

I feel blessed to know my guide and humbled by what she has taught me so far & I recognise that when our desire to know ourselves & to seek Truth is strong, then our guides ( for we all have them) are able to help us every step of the way.

So the ‘reason’ for this ‘workshop’ is to just share more of the beautiful information that my guide shares with me & maybe the outcome for you, if you choose to follow the suggestions made & activities given, is that you will discover more of yourself, learn how to heal yourself, discover the abundance of love that is available to each and everyone of us & even learn to recognise-the presence of your own Guides.

Session 1 begins tomorrow and will be posted here. Look forward to hearing from any of you who want to join in.

XO Nat.

God’s Love…

After allowing myself to feel how God feels about me the other day, I could feel my beautiful friend and guide Celeste and we had a brief conversation about God’s Love that I wanted to share…

Nat;- God loves us sooooo much that it completely overwhelms me.

Celeste;- Yes he does, is it not beautiful to feel how loved and treasured you really are?

Nat;- It’s hard to let that much love in, it feels like I’m going to lose myself.

Celeste;- On the contrary, it is when you find yourself, the beautiful, unique child of God’s that you are & you can discover that you are not a blur or blip in the sea of children that God has…..but that God recognises your individual personality, individual needs, individual desires & God celebrates those things about you and has nothing but encouragement, patience & love for all that you are. And can you feel how God wants to show you anything you desire to know?

Nat;- Yep that’s why its so overwhelming!

Celeste;- And that overwhelm is a good thing, for it is your soul growing….and with it, your faith grows and your desire to connect to our true parent grows…..and your trust that you are loved and can ask anything of God becomes cemented.


So my friends I just wanted to say keep longing, and letting the love in 🙂

It was shared with me today by my guides that they are willing to give me more practical activities and exercises to do…. to help me connect to my soul and my feelings. I am also desiring to share these activities with others who would like to feel their souls more as well so that we may grow in love and closer to God.

Up until recently I had been very stagnate in my relationship with God…and upon God showing me…yet again ….that She is always there and it is me who cannot feel Her.

Allowing and wanting to be open to feeling God, has pushed me forward out of this stagnate place into an excited place of wanting to really know my real parent and embrace that which She wants to teach me about myself…. instead of the darkened, judgemental view points I have had about myself and been clinging to for some time. It has been a huge relief and yes while error is painful in its release, refusal of releasing it has been exhausting. I am no longer wanting to be exhausted!! So……

I have a little hut that I have been working out of now for a few weeks, engaging my passion for mediumship and bodywork once again. It is in Kingaroy and Celeste (my guide) has suggested that I share the things I am learning with others. So I am inviting my fellow brothers and sisters who genuinely desire to grow in love, and discover more of themselves with the help of Celeste to join me.

Celeste has advised me that it will be the responsibility of each person to act on the tasks set for them and to reflect on their feelings as well. It is not a place for talking about what you discover or feel with anyone other than God! While Celeste is happy to assist us, she tells me that many of us avoid the feeling of being alone, and she will not accommodate this addiction for anyone, and will address it directly should it arise.

So if you would like to be a part of this, I will be channelling with her over the next few weeks and an opportunity to talk to her about the activities will be available on Saturday 31st May @11am – 12pm. Contact me directly on 0448 689981 if you would like to come, and I will give the venue details to you then.

Much love…:)

Heart’s Desire…

I channelled a message yesterday about desire. Following your heart step by step, but the feeling coming from my guide was ‘follow your soul’….

My Soul actually knows what it desires most. Yes there are errors and untrue beliefs still unhealed in me, but there is also an inherent goodness. I can feel a part of my ‘self’,  my soul, that is good and fun and loving and honest and open…I know this in my heart because I can feel that I was created by God and I am loved.

The message also mentioned taking time to connect to your ‘heart’ (soul) and my guide encouraged to ‘find a quiet place, somewhere with no noise’……..and to ‘just breath’!! She said if we all could do this just a little everyday then we would begin to feel our’ heart’ (soul) and what it really wants. And then we would know what to do, like, all the time!!!

I realise today that the more I practise breathing and connecting to my ‘heart’ (soul)  the less I need the quiet place to do it. I realised that if I persist in this method of taking time to feel what’s going on in every waking moment……I am following my heart’s desires.

And I  sit here this morning feeling my heart’ (soul)…..I can feel that my soul wants joy and fun and more love and more of God’s love & more truth about the universe that God has created, & beauty,& love oh and did I mention love? 🙂

In the channelling I was gently reminded how,   “painful feelings like fear, sadness, stress and pressure only feel that way so you can know when you are breaking a law of Love. Feelings are your guidance system to show you how far away from love you are in any given moment. So if you can feel your ‘heart’ (soul) all the time, you will always know when your growing and when your healing. And because God created the Laws, then all growing and healing will at some point have to be done with God to be everlasting…….and this is how we find our way home.” – Celeste.



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